General Manager, Host of Apostles That Rock
My journey in this life, like everyone else's, is always ever evolving.
My story, like everyone else's, is unique. It's filled with moments that I regret. But I don't regret what I am about to say here. This is not an announcement that I like making in spite of me being in the public eye, especially in Christian media and journalism. But I have to say this because it's who I am and it's not something I can change about myself.
It seems like every other year or so often, I have to tell people who I am and what I'm all about. People often mistake who I am and I tell them and they're shocked. They ask, "How could this be?"
Not only am I the host and the General Manager of the Apostles That Rock podcast network, but I also identify as a gay Christian. I'm gay. And for many reading this and for those that listen to our podcast, those who've recently become close friends in the past year, this is really not something that is new for those that regularly follow me. But this is news for you. The ones that know or who have neve bothered to ask. All you have to do is simply look at my bio page on my website. You'll see that I'm not making anything up.
I'm gay and for me, it wasn't a choice. I am who I am because I believe that God created me exactly as he wanted me to be. I wouldn't choose to be anything that I'm not. I've tried dating girls in school. I've tried dating women as an adult. It never felt natural to me. I never felt an attraction. When I met my first boyfriend in high school, I felt safe and secure with him. And isn't that what most people look for in a relationship, safety and security? I felt loved in a way that I had never felt growing up. Oh, I've heard many teachings and sermons on marriage, but they're biased and they're wrong. It's only right if a man and woman get married or if they fall in love, but I'm not allowed to find my happiness and that's bullshit.
I believe that love is love. I believe God is love. But your sexual orientation, your identity, that is an individual realization of who you are in this life. And believe me, I've been criticized for this belief. And here's a funny question, one that everyone gets stumped on is, "if God creates everyone unique and everyone is different, then why would we persist in telling someone that you have to be like someone else?" If I'm gay, why do I have to be straight like someone else? Am I not different like the next person? Aren't I created unique by a creative and loving God? And if God is love, why would he force me to be straight in order to believe in him and to only then go to heaven? Literally... I have to be straight, heterosexual in order to go to this biased place called heaven. And this is what people are told from pulpits every single week when they step into a church.
I don't believe being gay or bisexual or lesbian or transgender is a sin. We are made-in-the-image-of-God human beings, created unique and each one of us different from the other. It is our humanity that binds us together.
We want to say that marriage is only between a man and a woman, but according to Scripture when you study, there are no definitive statements on marriage spanning the breadth of Scripture.
You can throw Leviticus at me and you can misinterpret Sodom and Gomorrah all you want and you can try to compare my life to temple prostitution in Romans all you want, but I've studied too long and I know too much to sit by in the shadows while you tell me, I'm going to hell.
Like I said, I can't believe and I refuse to believe that. But what about you who does? What is some advice I can offer?
Love simply. But do research. Everyone has an opinion. Every opinion matters, but that doesn't mean everyone is right. If you claim to read the Bible, then read it again and slowly this time. Examine the culture and the surroundings and the history of those from long ago and truly examine if those same situations apply to today. And if in this moment you're already saying, no, those days were then and this is now, my question then becomes, are you still basing what happened then on what's happening today? We can either accept or we can reject. There is no middle ground. If you say, I love you but I don't accept you... You're still rejecting the person. You can't do that. If offends and rejection hurts. And it's killing people in this country.
Being told that I'm going to hell because God, even though he is love, can't love me because I'm gay. Even though he created me.
I'm gay and there's not much that I can change about that. It's a part of who I am. I've tried so many times to change. I've tried being straight and it never seemed normal. I couldn't do it. There was nothing natural about it for me. But this is who I am and I am still the same guy that loves the podcast that I run and the graphic and web design jobs that I do. But I'll be damned if somebody once more tells me that God doesn't love me. I wouldn't claim his love if it weren't true.
If you aren't judgmental and you do accept me as I am, for who I am as a person, then I leave you with this:
Love deeply. Love strong. Take the courage within you and share it. Be yourself because it's impossible to be someone else. If God is love and you're created by God, then you have the same love God has. You are meant to impersonate that love around you and show it to others. #LoveIsLove